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patience_tester.sh
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executable file
ยท148 lines (135 loc) ยท 4.15 KB
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#!/bin/bash
# ๐ช The Patience Tester
# Adds increasingly ridiculous delays for persistent snoopers
PATIENCE_FILE="/tmp/fragle_patience_$(whoami)"
PATIENCE_LOG="/home/pinky/fragle/logs/patience_test_$(date +%Y%m%d).log"
# Track patience level
if [ -f "$PATIENCE_FILE" ]; then
PATIENCE_LEVEL=$(cat "$PATIENCE_FILE")
else
PATIENCE_LEVEL=1
fi
echo "[$(date '+%Y-%m-%d %H:%M:%S')] User $(whoami) - Patience Level $PATIENCE_LEVEL" >> "$PATIENCE_LOG"
echo "โณ REPOSITORY LOADING SEQUENCE"
echo "=============================="
echo ""
case $PATIENCE_LEVEL in
1)
echo "๐ Fast loading enabled!"
sleep 1
echo "โ
Ready!"
;;
2)
echo "โ๏ธ Standard loading..."
sleep 2
echo "๐ฆ Unpacking files..."
sleep 1
echo "โ
Ready!"
;;
3)
echo "๐ Slightly slower today..."
sleep 2
echo "๐ Reading files..."
sleep 2
echo "๐ Verifying..."
sleep 1
echo "โ
Ready!"
;;
4)
echo "๐ Loading might take a moment..."
sleep 3
echo "๐ Processing..."
sleep 2
echo "๐ง Optimizing..."
sleep 2
echo "โ
Ready! (Finally)"
;;
5)
echo "โฐ This is taking longer than usual..."
echo ""
sleep 2
echo "Phase 1: Initialization..."
sleep 3
echo "Phase 2: Allocation..."
sleep 3
echo "Phase 3: Configuration..."
sleep 2
echo ""
echo "โ
Done! (Hope you had coffee)"
;;
6-7)
echo "๐ข ULTRA SLOW MODE ACTIVATED"
echo "(Because you keep coming back)"
echo ""
sleep 3
echo "โณ Loading: [ ] 10%"
sleep 2
echo "โณ Loading: [โโโ ] 30%"
sleep 3
echo "โณ Loading: [โโโโโโ ] 60%"
sleep 3
echo "โณ Loading: [โโโโโโโโโ ] 90%"
sleep 4
echo "โณ Loading: [โโโโโโโโโโ] 100%"
echo ""
echo "โ
Complete! (That was painful, wasn't it?)"
;;
8-10)
echo "๐ช RIDICULOUS DELAY MODE"
echo ""
sleep 2
echo "You've triggered this $PATIENCE_LEVEL times."
echo "Now you must suffer the consequences..."
echo ""
sleep 3
echo "โณ Calculating quantum fluctuations..."
sleep 4
echo "๐ Consulting the cosmic database..."
sleep 4
echo "๐ฎ Reading ancient scrolls..."
sleep 3
echo "โ Making coffee for the server..."
sleep 4
echo "๐ฒ Rolling for initiative..."
sleep 3
echo "๐ค Waking up the hamster in the server room..."
sleep 4
echo ""
echo "โ
Finally ready! ($((PATIENCE_LEVEL * 3)) seconds wasted)"
;;
*)
echo "๐คฆ MAXIMUM ANNOYANCE MODE"
echo ""
echo "Patience Level: $PATIENCE_LEVEL"
echo "This will take a while..."
echo ""
# Ridiculously long delay
for i in {1..5}; do
sleep 3
echo "โณ Still loading... ($((i * 3))s elapsed)"
done
echo ""
echo "๐ก Fun fact: This is intentionally slow"
echo " because you keep coming back!"
echo ""
sleep 3
echo "๐ฏ Current wait time: $((PATIENCE_LEVEL * 2)) seconds"
echo "๐ฏ Expected wait time: Forever"
echo ""
sleep 2
echo "โ
Done! Hope it was worth the wait! (It wasn't)"
;;
esac
echo ""
echo "โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ"
echo "๐ Patience Statistics:"
echo " Times visited: $PATIENCE_LEVEL"
echo " Time wasted: ~$((PATIENCE_LEVEL * 5)) seconds"
echo " Regret level: $([ $PATIENCE_LEVEL -gt 7 ] && echo "Maximum" || echo "Building")"
echo "โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ"
# Increment for next time
((PATIENCE_LEVEL++))
echo "$PATIENCE_LEVEL" > "$PATIENCE_FILE"
echo ""
echo "๐ก Tip: The more you visit, the slower it gets!"
echo "๐ญ (This is a feature, not a bug)"