Database push command breaks receiving Craft CMS DB

[mizziness]

Steps to reproduce:

Prereq: Have an identical database for Craft CMS installed both locally and remotely, aka on the "receiving" server

1. From your local terminal, go to your Craft folder and open swiff with swiff
2. Choose "Database Pull" from the menu
3. Observe the local database is still functional.
4. Choose "Database Push" from the menu
5. Observe the following error immediately after push:

Exception 'yii\web\ServerErrorHttpException' with message 'The info table is missing its row'

in /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/base/ApplicationTrait.php:635

Stack trace:
#0 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/base/ApplicationTrait.php(286): craft\console\Application->getInfo(true)
#1 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/helpers/App.php(538): craft\console\Application->getIsInstalled()
#2 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/config/app.php(219): craft\helpers\App::logConfig()
#3 [internal function]: {closure}()
#4 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/di/Container.php(524): call_user_func_array(Object(Closure), Array)
#5 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/BaseYii.php(349): yii\di\Container->invoke(Object(Closure), Array)
#6 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/di/ServiceLocator.php(137): yii\BaseYii::createObject(Object(Closure))
#7 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/base/Module.php(742): yii\di\ServiceLocator->get('log', true)
#8 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/console/Application.php(156): yii\base\Module->get('log', true)
#9 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/base/Application.php(508): craft\console\Application->get('log')
#10 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/base/ApplicationTrait.php(1381): yii\base\Application->getLog()
#11 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/console/Application.php(57): craft\console\Application->_preInit()
#12 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/base/BaseObject.php(109): craft\console\Application->init()
#13 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/base/Application.php(206): yii\base\BaseObject->__construct(Array)
#14 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/console/Application.php(89): yii\base\Application->__construct(Array)
#15 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/src/console/Application.php(48): yii\console\Application->__construct(Array)
#16 [internal function]: craft\console\Application->__construct(Array)
#17 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/di/Container.php(400): ReflectionClass->newInstanceArgs(Array)
#18 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/di/Container.php(159): yii\di\Container->build('craft\\console\\A...', Array, Array)
#19 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/yiisoft/yii2/BaseYii.php(365): yii\di\Container->get('craft\\console\\A...', Array, Array)
#20 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/bootstrap/bootstrap.php(245): yii\BaseYii::createObject(Array)
#21 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/vendor/craftcms/cms/bootstrap/console.php(43): require('/storage/av0566...')
#22 /storage/av05666/www/public_html/craft(21): require('/storage/av0566...')

Craft CMS commands via the CLI and the admin interface both become unusable entirely.

I can see the info table is indeed completely empty, after the push:

mysql> select * from info;
Empty set (0.00 sec)

Locally, the info table is correct.