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Today marks my 100th day of journaling. It helped me overcome a crisis and enhanced my life in ways I never expected.
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## the beginning
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But why did I even start journaling? The end of September this year was very hard for me. Many bad things happened that put me into a personal crisis. My mental health suffered immensely, and I needed a way of documenting what I've felt (and didn't feel), what I've eaten and what thoughts I had that day. Getting used to journaling wasn't hard, because I needed to journal. I wrote down thoughts that I had, so they couldn't keep me away at night. Without journaling, I would have slept much, much less.
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Once journaling became part of my routine, I started exploring the best format to suit my needs.
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## physical, digital, or something in between?
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Honestly, I didn’t think about this until weeks later. At first, I just needed a way to write. I didn't have the mental capacity to think of such questions, so I just downloaded the first open source note-taking app that I could find, [Notally](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.omgodse.notally). It's a great app for local notes, but wasn't that great for journaling. When I didn't have my phone on me, I couldn't access my journal. I also was afraid of losing my journal, one big note in the app didn't feel that safe to me, so I started looking for alternatives.
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### the appeal of a physical journal
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The idea of a physical notebook had a romantic appeal. But for someone as forgetful as me, it wasn’t practical. If I ever misplaced it during a mental breakdown, I’d lose my way to cope with it. That's a risk I couldn't take. So, I decided against it.
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### finding the right digital solution
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But what digital app could be a good replacement? I want to access my journal anytime and everywhere. From my phone, laptop, desktop or even my Steam Deck. Also, I didn't want to fall victim to vendor lock-in. Ideally my notes would be saved in plain text, so I chose my favorite markdown note-taking program [Obsidian](https://obsidian.md/). It's free, though not open-source, but that's okay because my notes are still stored as plain text markdown files. The Daily Notes plugin automatically creates a note for the current day. And I can even link notes, to connect things together. This is great because I witnessed other improvements that journaling gave me.
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## why i still journal
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The initial crisis I mentioned in the beginning is over. I still sometimes cry, but my last breakdown was some weeks ago and I feel mentally stable. But I experienced other great benefits from journaling that really improved my life. The crisis may be over, but negative thoughts or haunting questions are still occasionally present. Trusting my journal with these things helped me to distance myself from them and get a new perspective on some problems. It also helped me let go of these things. But the most important benefit I've experienced is, that my memory has improved. If I wrote about a talk I had with a friend, an activity I did or a thought that I had, I could remember that. This is a game changer for me, because I am really, really forgetful.
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If we combine this benefit with the ability to link things together, I could, for example, keep track of every meeting (not the business type of meeting) I had with a person, because I can now see on which day I last linked to a person.
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@@ -38,5 +37,4 @@ This helps me reach out to friends more regularly, because I can see when I reac
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## conclusion
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100 days in, journaling has done more than just help me through tough times. It helped me understand myself better, cope with negative emotions and improved my memory. I'll keep up the habit of journaling for the now-fresh year of 2025
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title = "How I broke sudo on my Dads Mac and how I fixed it"
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date = 2024-01-19
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[taxonomies]
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tags = [ "mac", "linux", "tech" ]
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# Prologue
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---
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title: How I broke sudo on my Dads Mac and how I fixed it
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date: 2024-01-19
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taxonomies:
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tags:
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- mac
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- linux
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- tech
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modified: 2025-01-02T10:43:30+01:00
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created: 2024-12-19T09:24:40+01:00
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---
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Currently, I'm in the process of migrating my Steam Deck to NixOS. Today finally arrived my 1 TB NVMe, so I rushed to installing it and reinstalling NixOS as I already had a working configuration. The annoying part is, that, when using [Jovian-NixOS](https://github.com/Jovian-Experiments/Jovian-NixOS) you need to compile the kernel. As this takes long and my father owns a M1 Mac, I thought about building my NixOS configuration on the mac and copying it to the Steam Deck.
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# The Problem
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## The Problem
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I then installed Nix on the Mac and got everything working, but as I wanted to build my NixOS Configuration on the Mac, the build failed. It failed, because I couldn't enter the sudo password. After much browsing the web, I wanted to make sudo passwordless. So I open `visudo` and changed
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```bash
@@ -25,19 +26,15 @@ to
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Do you see the mistake? It's the wrong place column. But I was in a rush, saved the file, wanted to test out my new fancy passwordless sudo by running `sudo echo test` and got greeted by a `alex is not in suderos file`.
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# The Journey begins
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## Try 1
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## The Journey begins
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### Try 1
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I tried out the [here](https://superuser.com/a/1368278) described “Finder” solution but failed. I just couldn't change the permission back. An hour later, I moved on to recovery mode.
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## Try 2 — Recovery Mode, my savior
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### Try 2 — Recovery Mode, my savior
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So, I finally booted into recovery mode, and logged in. Then mounted the Data disk via the disk utility program.
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Now I could open a terminal, navigate to `/foo/bar/etc` and repair the file permission while also fixing the typo.
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# What I've learned
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## What I've learned
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1. If visudo asks you if you really want to save the File, don't blindly type yes!
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title = "SCP, my beloved"
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date = 2024-01-06
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toc = true
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[taxonomies]
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tags = [ "linux", "scp", "ssh", "tech" ]
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# Introduction
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modified: 2025-01-02T10:39:21+01:00
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created: 2024-12-19T09:24:40+01:00
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title: SCP, my beloved
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date: 2024-01-06
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updated: 2025-01-02
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toc: true
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taxonomies:
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tags:
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- linux
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- scp
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- ssh
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- tech
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---
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Have you ever struggled to find the perfect tool for transferring files, which is easy to use and broadly available? If so, you are not alone, and I think I might have found the solution called "scp."
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# What is SCP?
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## What is SCP?
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SCP is a program shipped with OpenSSH, allowing you to copy files between two hosts over a network. Since it's shipped with OpenSSH, it should be available on most of your computers, making it convenient to use. For SCP to work, you need to point it to a running SSH server. Now let's look at some examples of how to use SCP.
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title = "Today was my birthday and I didn't cry"
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date = 2024-10-28
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[taxonomies]
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tags = [ "emotional", "love" ]
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title: Today was my birthday and I didn't cry
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date: 2024-10-28
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taxonomies:
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tags:
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- emotional
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- love
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modified: 2025-01-02T10:26:22+01:00
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created: 2024-12-19T09:24:40+01:00
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I was scared of today. Very scared. I thought I would be crying all day, thinking about you. You've always told me what you wanted to gift me for this birthday, that you wanted to bake a cake for me. You've never wanted to tell me what you wanted to gift me, but you've always mentioned it accidentally. Every time I thought about my birthday in the last few weeks, I always thought about you. I had been excited about my birthday because of you, but now it feels like a regular day.
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And somehow, I didn't cry. I mean, I thought about you today, but I do every day, so maybe it's nothing special. Today, I had to change trains at the station I always changed at when I went to you. So many memories - I could see us sitting on the bench - but I didn't cry.
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