diff --git a/.env.example b/.env.example
index b0015e1..4004515 100644
--- a/.env.example
+++ b/.env.example
@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
 JSONBIN_API_KEY=
 JSONBIN_ROOT=
 JSONBIN_BINID=
+SETTINGS_EXPIRATION_MS=
diff --git a/app.js b/app.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..daa360a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/app.js
@@ -0,0 +1,100 @@
+const { ALLOW_FALLBACKS, ALLOW_RATING_OVERRIDE } = require("./constants")
+const getSettings = require("./settings")
+
+const getPossibleTargets = async (target, targetRating) => {
+  const { ratings } = await getSettings()
+  if (!ratings[targetRating]) throw new Error(`Invalid targetRating ${targetRating}!`)
+
+  let possibleTargets = []
+  for (let [key] of Object.entries(target)) {
+    if (ratings[targetRating].includes(key)) {
+      possibleTargets = possibleTargets.concat(target[key])
+    }
+  }
+
+  if (possibleTargets.length === 0) {
+    if (ALLOW_FALLBACKS) {
+      possibleTargets = target.general
+    } else {
+      throw new Error(`No values found!`)
+    }
+  }
+
+  return possibleTargets
+}
+
+const getRandomFrom = async (target, rating) => {
+  const possibleTargets = await getPossibleTargets(target, rating)
+  return possibleTargets[Math.floor(Math.random() * possibleTargets.length)]
+}
+
+const getSentence = async (rating) => {
+  const { sentences } = await getSettings()
+  return getRandomFrom(sentences, rating)
+}
+
+const buildFromVerbObjectCombo = async (rating) => {
+  const { names, verbObjectCombo } = await getSettings()
+  return `Well, ${await getRandomFrom(verbObjectCombo, rating)} and call me ${await getRandomFrom(
+    names,
+    rating
+  )}`
+}
+
+const buildFromVerbAndObject = async (rating) => {
+  const { verbs, objects, names } = await getSettings()
+
+  return `Well, ${await getRandomFrom(verbs, rating)} ${await getRandomFrom(
+    objects,
+    rating
+  )} and call me ${await getRandomFrom(names, rating)}`
+}
+
+const probabilities = [
+  {
+    weight: 10,
+    action: getSentence,
+  },
+  {
+    weight: 2,
+    action: buildFromVerbObjectCombo,
+  },
+  {
+    weight: 50,
+    action: buildFromVerbAndObject,
+  },
+]
+
+const makeEndpoint = (rating = "general") => async (req, res) => {
+  const { ratings } = await getSettings()
+
+  // If "text" parameter exists and is valid, override rating
+  if (ALLOW_RATING_OVERRIDE && req.body.text) {
+    const passedText = req.body.text.toLowerCase()
+
+    if (ratings[passedText]) {
+      rating = passedText
+    }
+  }
+
+  if (probabilities === undefined || probabilities[0] === undefined) {
+    throw new Error("Could not find probabilities!")
+  }
+
+  const totalWeight = probabilities.reduce((acc, probability) => acc + probability.weight, 0)
+  const targetWeight = Math.floor(Math.random() * totalWeight) // from 0 to (probabilties.length - 1)
+
+  for (let i = 0; i < totalWeight; i++) {
+    if (probabilities[i + 1] === undefined || targetWeight < probabilities[i].weight) {
+      res.json({
+        response_type: "in_channel",
+        text: await probabilities[i].action(rating),
+      })
+      return
+    }
+  }
+
+  throw new Error("Unknown error")
+}
+
+module.exports = makeEndpoint
diff --git a/constants.js b/constants.js
index 2ed3544..d8e216c 100644
--- a/constants.js
+++ b/constants.js
@@ -3,111 +3,3 @@ exports.ALLOW_RATING_OVERRIDE = true
 
 // Uses 'general' as a fallback when 'adult' content is empty (prevents errors)
 exports.ALLOW_FALLBACKS = true
-
-exports.RATINGS = {
-  all: ['general', 'adult'],
-  general: ['general'],
-  adult: ['adult']
-}
-
-exports.VERBS = {
-  general: [
-    'slap',
-    'pinch',
-    'butter',
-    'smack',
-    'paint',
-    'paint',
-    'shave',
-    'wet',
-    'kick',
-    'kiss',
-    'steal',
-    'caress'
-  ],
-  adult: [
-    'tongue-punch'
-  ]
-}
-
-exports.OBJECTS = {
-  general: [
-    'my biscuit',
-    'my biscuits',
-    'my tacklebox',
-    'my toolshed',
-    'me silly',
-    'my nipples',
-    'my legs'
-  ],
-  adult: [
-    'my ass',
-    'my lips',
-    'my keyhole'
-  ]
-}
-
-exports.VERB_OBJECT_COMBOS = {
-  general: [
-    'shiver me timbers',
-    'lather me head to toe in honey',
-    'spin me around in a centrifuge'
-  ],
-  adult: [
-    'clap my cheeks',
-    'spread me open'
-  ]
-}
-
-exports.NAMES = {
-  general: [
-    'Sally',
-    'Delilah',
-    'Phoebe',
-    'Judy',
-    'Susan',
-    'Clementine',
-    'Sandy',
-    'Samantha',
-    'crazy',
-    'saucy',
-    'a hypocrite',
-    'a donkey',
-    'a monkey',
-    'Anderson',
-    'Daniel',
-    'David',
-    'Kaz',
-    'Kevin',
-    'Luke',
-    'Mary',
-    'Ruben',
-    'Topher',
-    'Traviss',
-    'Eli'
-  ],
-  adult: [
-  ]
-}
-
-exports.SENTENCES = {
-  general: [
-    'Well, smack my ass and call me a newborn.',
-    'Well, paint me green and call me a cucumber.',
-    'Well, slap me with bread and call me a sandwich.',
-    'Well, pin my tail and call me a donkey.',
-    'Well, fry me in butter and call me a catfish.',
-    'Well, saddle my back and call me a horse.',
-    'Well, knock me down and steal my teeth.',
-    'Well, dip me in mustard and call me a hotdog.',
-    'Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit,',
-    'Well, slap my salami and call me a commie.',
-    'Well, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here\'s my Number, so call me maybe.'
-  ],
-  adult: [
-    'Well, paint my ass red and call me a baboon.',
-  ]
-}
-
-
-
diff --git a/index.js b/index.js
index 065999f..5d5773f 100644
--- a/index.js
+++ b/index.js
@@ -5,18 +5,12 @@ const cors = require("cors")
 const bodyParser = require("body-parser")
 const path = require("path")
 const fetch = require("node-fetch")
-const {
-  ALLOW_FALLBACKS,
-  ALLOW_RATING_OVERRIDE,
-  RATINGS,
-  VERB_OBJECT_COMBOS,
-  NAMES,
-  VERBS,
-  OBJECTS,
-} = require("./constants")
 const pkg = require("./package.json")
+const makeEndpoint = require("./app")
+const getSettings = require("./settings")
 
 const app = express()
+
 // Support URL-encoded bodies such as those in Slack
 app.use(
   bodyParser.urlencoded({
@@ -29,115 +23,13 @@ app.use(cors({ origin: true }))
 
 app.use(express.static("static"))
 
-const getPossibleTargets = (target, targetRating) => {
-  if (!RATINGS[targetRating]) throw new Error(`Invalid targetRating ${targetRating}!`)
-
-  let possibleTargets = []
-  for (let [key, value] of Object.entries(target)) {
-    if (RATINGS[targetRating].includes(key)) {
-      possibleTargets = possibleTargets.concat(target[key])
-    }
-  }
-
-  if (possibleTargets.length === 0) {
-    if (ALLOW_FALLBACKS) {
-      possibleTargets = target.general
-    } else {
-      throw new Error(`No values found!`)
-    }
-  }
-
-  return possibleTargets
-}
-
-const getRandomFrom = (target, rating) => {
-  const possibleTargets = getPossibleTargets(target, rating)
-  return possibleTargets[Math.floor(Math.random() * possibleTargets.length)]
-}
-
-const getSentence = (rating) => {
-  return getRandomFrom(SENTENCES, rating)
-}
-
-const buildFromVerbObjectCombo = (rating) => {
-  return `Well, ${getRandomFrom(VERB_OBJECT_COMBOS, rating)} and call me ${getRandomFrom(
-    NAMES,
-    rating
-  )}`
-}
-
-const buildFromVerbAndObject = (rating) => {
-  return `Well, ${getRandomFrom(VERBS, rating)} ${getRandomFrom(
-    OBJECTS,
-    rating
-  )} and call me ${getRandomFrom(NAMES, rating)}`
-}
-
-const probabilities = [
-  {
-    weight: 10,
-    action: getSentence,
-  },
-  {
-    weight: 2,
-    action: buildFromVerbObjectCombo,
-  },
-  {
-    weight: 50,
-    action: buildFromVerbAndObject,
-  },
-]
-
-const run = (req, rating = "general") => {
-  // If "text" parameter exists and is valid, override rating
-  if (ALLOW_RATING_OVERRIDE && req.route.methods.post && req.body.text) {
-    const passedText = req.body.text.toLowerCase()
-
-    if (RATINGS[passedText]) {
-      rating = passedText
-    }
-  }
-
-  if (probabilities === undefined || probabilities[0] === undefined) {
-    throw new Error("Could not find probabilities!")
-  }
-
-  const totalWeight = probabilities.reduce((acc, probability) => acc + probability.weight, 0)
-  const targetWeight = Math.floor(Math.random() * totalWeight) // from 0 to (probabilties.length - 1)
-
-  for (
-    let i = 0, currentWeight = 0;
-    i < totalWeight;
-    i++, currentWeight += probabilities[i].weight
-  ) {
-    if (probabilities[i + 1] === undefined || targetWeight < probabilities[i].weight) {
-      return {
-        response_type: "in_channel",
-        text: probabilities[i].action(rating),
-      }
-    }
-  }
-
-  throw new Error("Unknown error")
-}
-
-app.post("/", (req, res) => res.send(run(req, "general")))
-app.post("/all", (req, res) => res.send(run(req, "all")))
-app.post("/adult", (req, res) => res.send(run(req, "adult")))
-
-const jsonBinUrl = process.env.JSONBIN_ROOT
-const jsonBinId = process.env.JSONBIN_BINID
-const jsonBinApiKey = process.env.JSONBIN_API_KEY
+app.post("/", makeEndpoint("general"))
+app.post("/all", makeEndpoint("all"))
+app.post("/adult", makeEndpoint("adult"))
 
 app.get("/settings/read", async (req, res) => {
   try {
-    const response = await fetch(`${jsonBinUrl}/b/${jsonBinId}/latest`, {
-      headers: {
-        "Content-Type": "application/json",
-        "secret-key": jsonBinApiKey,
-      },
-    })
-    const data = await response.json()
+    const data = await getSettings()
     res.json(data)
   } catch (error) {
     // TODO: fallback on a static version
diff --git a/settings.js b/settings.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..27ecd7e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/settings.js
@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
+const fetch = require("node-fetch")
+
+const jsonBinUrl = process.env.JSONBIN_ROOT
+const jsonBinId = process.env.JSONBIN_BINID
+const jsonBinApiKey = process.env.JSONBIN_API_KEY
+const settingsCacheExpirationMs = parseInt(process.env.SETTINGS_EXPIRATION_MS, 10)
+
+const settingsCache = {
+  lastFetched: 0,
+  settings: null,
+}
+
+const getSettings = async () => {
+  const now = Date.now()
+
+  if (!settingsCache.settings || now > settingsCache.lastFetched) {
+    try {
+      const response = await fetch(`${jsonBinUrl}/b/${jsonBinId}/latest`, {
+        headers: {
+          "Content-Type": "application/json",
+          "secret-key": jsonBinApiKey,
+        },
+      })
+      const data = await response.json()
+
+      settingsCache.lastFetched = now + settingsCacheExpirationMs
+      settingsCache.settings = data
+
+      return data
+    } catch (error) {
+      return {}
+    }
+  }
+
+  return settingsCache.settings
+}
+
+module.exports = getSettings