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| 1 | +--- |
| 2 | +author: Major Hayden |
| 3 | +date: '2025-12-17' |
| 4 | +summary: | |
| 5 | + Social media is a lot of fun until it isn't. |
| 6 | +tags: |
| 7 | + - social media |
| 8 | +title: Becomingly differently social |
| 9 | +coverAlt: Small log cabin in the mountains |
| 10 | +coverCaption: | |
| 11 | + Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@mikepetrucci?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Mike Petrucci</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/brown-wooden-house-near-mountains-at-daytime-18joWFjUhKw?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a> |
| 12 | +--- |
| 13 | + |
| 14 | +Social media caught my attention in early 2008. |
| 15 | +A coworker finally convinced me to create a Twitter account and I had no idea what it was. |
| 16 | + |
| 17 | +Over the years, I found various types of social media useful for different purposes. |
| 18 | +Learning. |
| 19 | +Connecting. |
| 20 | +Sharing. |
| 21 | +It felt like being connected to the world in a way I never had before. |
| 22 | + |
| 23 | +# What changed? |
| 24 | + |
| 25 | +You probably know about all of the changes that happened with Twitter (X?) and the eventual rise of competitors like Mastodon and Bluesky. |
| 26 | +Facebook devolved into an insular echo chamber. |
| 27 | +Instagram became a highlight reel of unattainable lifestyles. |
| 28 | +Even LinkedIn turned into a place where spamming your connections became the norm! |
| 29 | + |
| 30 | +I've gone down so many paths to improve my social media experience: |
| 31 | + |
| 32 | +* Reducing the number of people I follow |
| 33 | +* Resetting accounts to start fresh |
| 34 | +* Using different platforms to connect with different audiences |
| 35 | +* Leaving some platforms entirely (such as Facebook after I was stalked there) |
| 36 | + |
| 37 | +Nothing seemed to help. |
| 38 | + |
| 39 | +# Enter Mastodon |
| 40 | + |
| 41 | +I joined a Mastodon server in 2022 after hearing about it from friends. |
| 42 | +Mastodon itself was around for a while but I couldn't figure out how best to use it and engaging with people was difficult. |
| 43 | +There were lots of conversations like these: |
| 44 | + |
| 45 | +> "Hey, I'm on Mastodon. Are you?" |
| 46 | +> |
| 47 | +> "What's Mastodon?" |
| 48 | +
|
| 49 | +Eventually, I found a server that fit my interests and started following people. |
| 50 | +The experience was refreshing. |
| 51 | +No ads. |
| 52 | +No algorithms pushing content. |
| 53 | +Just people sharing thoughts, ideas, and their creations. |
| 54 | + |
| 55 | +But then the same problems returned. |
| 56 | + |
| 57 | +# Some people are never satisfied |
| 58 | + |
| 59 | +I joked with coworkers that you can write a Mastodon post saying **"dogs are such cute animals"** and then get replies like these: |
| 60 | + |
| 61 | +* "Do dogs exist solely for your pleasure?" |
| 62 | +* "What do you have against cats?" |
| 63 | +* "Why are you promoting speciesism?" |
| 64 | +* "Is that fair to say when some people are allergic to dogs?" |
| 65 | +* "How dare you post such a shallow comment during a time of global crisis?" |
| 66 | + |
| 67 | +My timeline slowly filled with more and more negativity. |
| 68 | + |
| 69 | +Don't get me wrong: I enjoy engaging in discussions, even arguments, with other people. |
| 70 | +That's how we learn other perspectives and grow. |
| 71 | +It's also how we learn to persuade others to our way of thinking. |
| 72 | + |
| 73 | +I eventually landed in a place where I felt like I couldn't post, couldn't reply, and couldn't engage without dealing with more negativity. |
| 74 | +Social media connected me to so many wonderful people (and some had less wonderful views), but I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells. |
| 75 | +It simply wasn't worth it. |
| 76 | + |
| 77 | +# What am I doing now? |
| 78 | + |
| 79 | +When something isn't fun anymore, it's time to move on. |
| 80 | + |
| 81 | +I closed down my Mastodon server that I hosted with [mastohost](https://mastohost.com/) and deleted my account. |
| 82 | +*(The mastohost people are **AWESOME** and if you ever need a Mastodon server, even one just for yourself and few friends, I highly recommend them.)* |
| 83 | +I'm already feeling better after doing that last weekend! |
| 84 | + |
| 85 | +You'll still see me writing blogs here, and you can always reach me [via the same email address ](mailto:[email protected]) I've had for many years. |
| 86 | +I'm still involved with several communities via [Discord](https://discord.com/users/559804419261071363) and on [Fedora's Matrix instance](https://chat.fedoraproject.org/). |
| 87 | +Although I don't log into [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/majorhayden/) much, you can send me a message there. |
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