copyedit

Author: edsaperia

app/views/home/study_with_us.html.haml

@@ -7,12 +7,9 @@
 
 %div.wide-pic{:style => "background-image: url(#{image_path "psephology.jpg"})"}
 
-%p
-  Newspeak House is a hub for communities working to change society with technology, spanning all kinds of civic institutions, including government, politics, activism, charities, journalism, think-tanks, NGOs, philanthropy, and academia.
-%p
-  At the heart of Newspeak House is its one-year programme, <b>Introduction to Political Technology</b>, running since 2015. Participants spend a year immersed in these communities enjoying the opportunity to meet thousands of people and participate in a wide range of in-person events at Newspeak House and elsewhere.
-%p
-  The programme is designed to support mid-career technologists to develop a holistic understanding of the political technology landscape in order to found groundbreaking new projects or seek strategic positions in key institutions. It’s ideal for people who have been working professionally for several years and are now looking to grow their network and spend time reflecting deeply on how they can best have impact on the world.
+%p Newspeak House is a hub for communities working to change society with technology, spanning all kinds of civic institutions, including government, politics, activism, charities, journalism, think-tanks, NGOs, philanthropy, and academia.
+%p At the heart of Newspeak House is its one-year programme, <b>Introduction to Political Technology</b>, running since 2015. Participants spend a year immersed in these communities enjoying the opportunity to meet thousands of people and participate in a wide range of in-person events at Newspeak House and elsewhere.
+%p The programme is designed to support mid-career technologists to develop a holistic understanding of the political technology landscape in order to found groundbreaking new projects or seek strategic positions in key institutions. It’s ideal for people who have been working professionally for several years and are now looking to grow their network and spend time reflecting deeply on how they can best have impact on the world.
 
 = image_tag('2025-cohort.jpg')
 
@@ -23,10 +20,10 @@
   %li Develop strong relationships with a close cohort of peers
   %li Work on their own projects with the guidance and mentorship of our faculty
 
-%p
-  Participants should plan to spend at least sixteen hours a week focused on the programme itself. This will be a mix of discussions, pair work, self-study, attending events, and connecting and collaborating with other participants, fellows, members, organisers, and the growing communities working on political technology. The programme is designed to fit around a job, particularly if remote or flexible.
-%p
-  Activities are re-designed each year to reflect the dynamic nature of the field and the needs of the particular cohort, but broadly the first half of the year (October - March) is focused on group exercises and getting an overview of the field, and the second half (April - August) on developing your individual projects. Upon successful completion of the programme, you will be invited to join the #{link_to "Newspeak House fellowship", "/fellowship"}, the start of a lifelong relationship with the institution and its networks.
+%p The programme is designed to fit around a job, particularly if remote or flexible. Participants should expect to spend at least sixteen hours a week on a mix of group discussion, prototyping, reading, attending events, and connecting and collaborating with other participants, fellows, members, organisers, and the growing communities working on political technology.
+%p This is not a conventional taught course in which participants attend lectures and pass by showing up. Rather, it is an immersive year spent entering an existing community and learning the field of political technology through its institutions, events, tools, norms, and accumulated body of work. Fellowship candidates are expected not only to learn, but to engage seriously with the life of the college and the wider field, building their public profile while using the programme as a space in which they can test their political technology prototypes.
+%p Activities are re-designed each year to reflect the dynamic nature of the field and the needs of the particular cohort, but broadly the first half of the year (October - March) is focused on group exercises and getting an overview of the existing landscape, and the second half (April - August) on developing your capstone project, a meaningful original contribution to the field of political technology. Upon successful completion of the programme, you will be invited to join the #{link_to "Newspeak House fellowship", "/fellowship"}, the start of a lifelong relationship with the institution and its networks.
+
 
 %div.profile
   %div.profile-pic{:style => "background-image: url(#{image_path "lisa.png"})"}