If two people in a close relationship are highly integrated,
The result is inevitably symbiotic strangulation.
What is high integration? You are me, I am you, what I think, you will think, every choice I make, you must choose the same as me.
This relationship will be very happy and sweet in the early stage, because you will feel that this person seems to be your soulmate.
On the one hand, you will be very good to this person, you have a strong sense of giving, He will be willing to give him some emotional and even material support, in this process of investing in him, you feel that you are very important, feel the value of your existence, and sometimes you will be willing to suppress your feelings, suppress your needs, and prioritize meeting the other person's needs.
On the other hand, he will also regard you as his everything, as if everything is in line with your thoughts, attaching importance to your every feeling and every need, never making you dissatisfied, and he rarely puts forward his opinions, always compromising and conforming to you.
However, as such relationships develop and the two people become increasingly integrated, a sense of engulfment will begin to emerge.
When you keep giving and find that this person does not respond to you, you will feel very wronged, I have done so much for you, but you are unwilling to give up some of your freedom for me.
So you create an emotional pattern where I am good and you are bad, and if you are different from me, That's because you don't love me enough, you have let me down, because loving someone is like this, we need to get along with each other, when you always put yourself in the position of a good person, you are a good person who has been let down, then your partner will inevitably be projected as that bad person.
This feeling is very uncomfortable, so he will betray you, he will hurt you, he wants to deliberately break your narcissism, If he makes you uncomfortable, he will try to escape. He doesn't want to take on the role of a bad person. He also wants to be a good person, but you won't allow him to be good because once he becomes good, you will feel like you are a bad person and that you don't give enough.
There are also some people who want to merge with each other, and the other person will feel that you are invading my living space. You want to devour me, you don't allow me to have my own desires, my own needs to exist, as this relationship gradually deepens, I feel like I don't exist, the so-called mutual adjustment, the so-called communication, is just to let me follow your instructions, let me completely become you. So what about the original me?
Therefore, he will feel a deep sense of repression, and when the repression reaches a certain level, even a very good-natured person will suddenly explode.
Because if two people are highly symbiotic, then there must be a sense of devouring, either I give up my persistence, my needs completely adapt to you, or you adapt to me, and in the end, both of us will live very badly.
The person who is extremely eager to devour the other party will feel that he has always been disobedient. He always makes me angry, always hurts me, and the one who desperately wants to break free will feel that although I love this person very much, the other party has been forcing me, has not been able to understand me, and has given me a lot of emotional pressure, even if I solve the problem, it will be useless, and everyone will feel very wronged.
If two people in a close relationship are highly integrated,
The result is inevitably symbiotic strangulation.
What is high integration? You are me, I am you, what I think, you will think, every choice I make, you must choose the same as me.
This relationship will be very happy and sweet in the early stage, because you will feel that this person seems to be your soulmate.
On the one hand, you will be very good to this person, you have a strong sense of giving, He will be willing to give him some emotional and even material support, in this process of investing in him, you feel that you are very important, feel the value of your existence, and sometimes you will be willing to suppress your feelings, suppress your needs, and prioritize meeting the other person's needs.
On the other hand, he will also regard you as his everything, as if everything is in line with your thoughts, attaching importance to your every feeling and every need, never making you dissatisfied, and he rarely puts forward his opinions, always compromising and conforming to you.
However, as such relationships develop and the two people become increasingly integrated, a sense of engulfment will begin to emerge.
When you keep giving and find that this person does not respond to you, you will feel very wronged, I have done so much for you, but you are unwilling to give up some of your freedom for me.
So you create an emotional pattern where I am good and you are bad, and if you are different from me, That's because you don't love me enough, you have let me down, because loving someone is like this, we need to get along with each other, when you always put yourself in the position of a good person, you are a good person who has been let down, then your partner will inevitably be projected as that bad person.
This feeling is very uncomfortable, so he will betray you, he will hurt you, he wants to deliberately break your narcissism, If he makes you uncomfortable, he will try to escape. He doesn't want to take on the role of a bad person. He also wants to be a good person, but you won't allow him to be good because once he becomes good, you will feel like you are a bad person and that you don't give enough.
There are also some people who want to merge with each other, and the other person will feel that you are invading my living space. You want to devour me, you don't allow me to have my own desires, my own needs to exist, as this relationship gradually deepens, I feel like I don't exist, the so-called mutual adjustment, the so-called communication, is just to let me follow your instructions, let me completely become you. So what about the original me?
Therefore, he will feel a deep sense of repression, and when the repression reaches a certain level, even a very good-natured person will suddenly explode.
Because if two people are highly symbiotic, then there must be a sense of devouring, either I give up my persistence, my needs completely adapt to you, or you adapt to me, and in the end, both of us will live very badly.
The person who is extremely eager to devour the other party will feel that he has always been disobedient. He always makes me angry, always hurts me, and the one who desperately wants to break free will feel that although I love this person very much, the other party has been forcing me, has not been able to understand me, and has given me a lot of emotional pressure, even if I solve the problem, it will be useless, and everyone will feel very wronged.