generate.js

#!/usr/bin/env node
/**
 * piss-or-gay — solana vanity wallet generator
 * PISSMISSLE INDUSTRIES® — powered by PissTek™
 * 
 * generates wallets ending in "piss" or "gay". nothing else.
 * 只有尿和同性恋. (╯°□°）╯
 */

const nacl = require('tweetnacl');
const bs58 = require('bs58');

const VALID_SUFFIXES = ['piss', 'gay'];

function generate(suffix) {
    if (!VALID_SUFFIXES.includes(suffix.toLowerCase())) {
        console.log('');
        console.log('  ⚠️  INVALID SUFFIX. 无效后缀.');
        console.log('  you get two options: piss or gay.');
        console.log('  that\'s it. 就这样. no customization.');
        console.log('  this is not a democracy. 这不是民主. (╬ಠ益ಠ)');
        console.log('');
        console.log('  usage: node generate.js piss');
        console.log('         node generate.js gay');
        console.log('');
        process.exit(1);
    }

    const target = suffix.toLowerCase();
    console.log('');
    console.log('  ╔═══════════════════════════════════════╗');
    console.log('  ║  piss-or-gay vanity wallet generator  ║');
    console.log('  ║  PISSMISSLE INDUSTRIES® — PissTek™    ║');
    console.log('  ╚═══════════════════════════════════════╝');
    console.log('');
    console.log(`  🎯 searching for wallet ending in "${target}"...`);
    console.log(`  ⏳ ${target === 'piss' ? 'this might take a while. 4 chars is hard. get coffee. 去喝咖啡.' : 'this should be quick. 3 chars is easy mode. 简单模式.'}`);
    console.log('');

    const startTime = Date.now();
    let attempts = 0;

    while (true) {
        attempts++;
        const keypair = nacl.sign.keyPair();
        const publicKey = bs58.encode(keypair.publicKey);
        
        // Case-insensitive match — base58 is mixed case
        if (publicKey.slice(-target.length).toLowerCase() === target) {
            const elapsed = ((Date.now() - startTime) / 1000).toFixed(2);
            const secretKey = bs58.encode(keypair.secretKey);

            console.log('  ═══════════════════════════════════════');
            console.log(`  🎯 FOUND: ${target.toUpperCase()} WALLET`);
            console.log('  ═══════════════════════════════════════');
            console.log(`  Address:  ${publicKey}`);
            console.log(`  Private:  ${secretKey}`);
            console.log(`  Attempts: ${attempts.toLocaleString()}`);
            console.log(`  Time:     ${elapsed}s`);
            console.log('  ═══════════════════════════════════════');
            console.log('  SAVE YOUR PRIVATE KEY. 保存你的私钥.');
            console.log('  I\'M NOT YOUR MOM. 我不是你妈.');
            console.log('  DON\'T SHARE IT WITH ANYONE. 不要和任何人分享.');
            console.log('  ESPECIALLY NOT FENT. 尤其不要和FENT分享.');
            console.log('  HE\'LL POST IT IN A GROUP CHAT. 他会发到群聊里.');
            console.log('  (╯°□°）╯');
            console.log('');
            return;
        }

        if (attempts % 10000 === 0) {
            const elapsed = ((Date.now() - startTime) / 1000).toFixed(1);
            process.stdout.write(`\r  ⛏️  ${attempts.toLocaleString()} attempts... ${elapsed}s elapsed`);
        }
    }
}

const suffix = process.argv[2];

if (!suffix) {
    console.log('');
    console.log('  piss-or-gay — solana vanity wallet generator');
    console.log('  PISSMISSLE INDUSTRIES® — PissTek™');
    console.log('');
    console.log('  usage: node generate.js <piss|gay>');
    console.log('');
    console.log('  piss = 4 chars = hard mode = strong tek required');
    console.log('  gay  = 3 chars = easy mode = weak tek acceptable');
    console.log('');
    console.log('  no other options. 没有其他选项. (╬ಠ益ಠ)');
    console.log('');
    process.exit(1);
}

generate(suffix);