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The online dating manifesto

Introduction

Lets be honest online dating is a total S*** show!

There are plenty of links to the total mess.

Following several discussions and back-and-forths over time with many different people. It was Julia in a coffee shop in Amsterdam central station who suggested a manifesto.

I found Julia’s thought process incredible and I wrote a book about my experiences with dating; I have quoted Julia in the Epigraph…

'If we increasingly live within the mere margins of algorithms, then what does it mean to be human?'

Julia Janssen - studiojuliajanssen.com

This get's right into the crux of the problem of online dating and its wider effects on personal wellbeing, relationships and society as a whole.

The manifesto outline

Leaning on the W3C's ethical web and MyData priciples

We have an outline of...

  • Personal control of algorithms through transparency
  • Ownership and portability of personal profiles
  • Dark patterns, gamification, ludic loops and enshittifcation should not be used in dating services
  • No more grass is greener and tempting tricks
  • No more hiring non-genuine daters to fill your dating service
  • The mental health of daters must take priority over profit
  • Dating systems must not cause harm to society
  • Dating systems should encourage healthy freedom of expression
  • Dating system must not prescribe a singular way to date and match
  • Dating systems for everyone
  • Clear rules over GenAI use and collection of data
  • Attractiveness is not global
  • End the Privatisation of Intimacy

Contribute to the manifesto