Revolutionary AI-Powered Quantum Mathematics Engine for the Enterprise
Are you tired of calculators that just... calculate? Do you want SYNERGY in your arithmetic? Do you crave DISRUPTION in your division?
Not A Calculator is the solution you didn't know you needed!
Built on our proprietary Quantum-Entangled Arithmetic Processing Unit (QEAPU) technology, this package delivers enterprise-grade mathematical operations with the reliability you'd expect from a free trial.
- ➕ Addition - Now with convenient fees!
- ➖ Subtraction - Results may vary
- ✖️ Multiplication - Memory-optimized (rounds to integers)
- ➗ Division - Blockchain-verified using repeated subtraction
- 🔒 Premium Features - Square roots, exponents, and more!
npm install not-a-calculatorconst calc = require('not-a-calculator');
// Basic addition (includes convenience fee)
console.log(calc.add(2, 2)); // ~4.01
// Subtraction (may be inverted for optimization)
console.log(calc.subtract(10, 3)); // 7 (usually)
// Multiplication (rounded for efficiency)
console.log(calc.multiply(3.5, 2.5)); // 9 (not 8.75, we save memory!)
// Division (limited to 100 iterations)
console.log(calc.divide(100, 10)); // 10
// Show pricing
calc.showPricing();The free tier includes:
- 3 calculations per millennium
- Addition with convenience fee
- Approximate results
- Helpful upgrade reminders
Unlock the full power of mathematics!
| Feature | License Required | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Unlimited Addition | Starter | $9.99/mo |
| Subtraction | Professional | $29.99/mo |
| Multiplication | Enterprise | $199.99/mo |
| Division | Quantum | $999.99/mo |
| Accurate Results | Platinum Accuracy Pack | $49.99/mo |
| Square Root | Scientific DLC | $14.99 |
| Negative Numbers | Professional+ | $39.99/mo |
| Decimal Precision | Enterprise | $199.99/mo |
Our Quantum license includes:
- Division by zero (returns ∞)
- Imaginary number support*
- Time-travel calculations*
- Parallel universe arithmetic*
*Coming soon in v2.0
Need custom arithmetic for your organization? Our Enterprise team can help!
- On-premise installation - Run calculations in your own datacenter
- Custom operators - Design your own mathematical symbols
- SLA guarantees - 99.9% uptime for addition operations
- Training - 40-hour certification program
Contact: sales@definitelyrealmath.com
We don't accept contributions. Mathematics is proprietary.
However, you can submit feature requests at $50 per request.
PROPRIETARY - All rights reserved by Definitely Real Math Corp™
Unauthorized calculation is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action.
- Our investors who believed in disrupting arithmetic
- The blockchain, for verifying our divisions
- AI, for powering our quantum algorithms
- You, for considering our premium plans
Not A Calculator™ - Because regular calculators are too mainstream
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