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Vogon Poetry - Zero Copy data processing over Columnar layouts , © Shaurya Agarwal, 2025

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
    Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
    Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
    Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!
            - Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, in Douglas Adams' "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

...and on similar lines we have...

Columnar Layout
    Array of Structs
Struct of Arrays
    Metadata Medatata
Zero Copy
    Distributed
Relational
    Data Engineering

VOGON POETRY

concepts like zero-copy-columnar-layout-distributed-vectorized etc. that sound like Vogon Poetry to data engineering teams trying to modernize their game...

Recitals

  • Poem 01-001
         Zero copy? what zero copy? Buffers? I want to hit someone right now by Vogon Constant Mown

Refs:


Unrelated learning

  • to indent things in markdown - add   because markdown will shave off all whitespaces.

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concepts like zero-copy-columnar-layout-distributed-vectorized etc. that sound like Vogon Poetry to data engineering teams trying to modernize their game...

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